Today I ended up really disappointed in how a situation turned out.  I had been looking forward to an appointment and when it didn’t happen, I felt like I was stood up.  The communication was vague, so I’m not even sure there *was* an appointment.  I tried everything I could think of to confirm the details, but the lines of communication felt blocked at every turn. 

The excitement that I could hardly contain when I woke up was suddenly gone.  It was completely deflated from my body and mind.  Then the negative talk started in my brain and I realized something. 

When I am disappointed, I begin a negative internal rant. 

Huh.  Interesting.  Then I started to recollect other situations where I remember feeling disappointed and how I reacted.  Yup, I did negative self-talk in those situations.  It’s not a coincidence today, it’s a pattern. 

Years ago, when I first started my business, I remember trying different marketing options.   Things like, direct marketing, giving out free massages, and chair massage events.  Sometimes they would work, sometimes they wouldn’t.  Sometimes, they just weren’t as wildly successful as I thought they would be.  The thoughts would flood in.  Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this.  I wasn’t going to make it.  What was wrong with me?

I missed out on a contract a few years ago.  I scolded myself for thinking I could play with “the big boys”.  (Which may start a whole new rant, but that’s how far my self-worth fell.)

Relationships end, there must be something that I did wrong…

Sometimes, I obsess over the situation.  I’m trying not to do that as much.  It’s pretty pointless.  It’s almost like I have to glean the information for the lesson instead of just spotting the big sign.  I sometimes wish Bill Engvall could be around when I need him.  “Here’s your sign.”

I eventually talk myself out of it.  I have friends that remind me:

You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you! True story. 

I have Facebook groups that keep me in check and provide awesome resources for my business.  

I also realize that I am not the only person that reacts this way.  That helps.  There will be ups and downs in your business.  Be sure to establish a support group that celebrates your triumphs and lifts you up when you are down.  In my opinion, the mental challenge of this business will defeat you long before you are physically burnt out.  And remember that it is reasonable and even therapeutic to have a down day.   Give yourself permission and then get up and go on! 


#13 of the 31 in August Blogging Challenge.  

Especially when you are a starting out, it’s easy to think that you NEED every client that calls you.  Stop thinking that way!  You can’t be everything to every body.  When you try to do this, you are doing yourself and your clients a disservice!  

Define the types of clients that give you the most joy to work on.  Those are the clients that you want and should go after.  Simply filling the massage table with every person makes no sense for you to thrive long term. 

Be genuine.  Don’t try to be the person that each potential client wants.  If they love energy work and that is not your thing, don’t fake doing energy work to make them happy.  If a client coming in only wants early morning appointments and you don’t like mornings, they will notice it when you fake your morning enthusiasm.  If you hate trigger point work like I do, don’t pretend to be a trigger point master.   

It’s not personal.  When a person isn’t the ideal client for you, it’s not saying anything against them.  It’s not a judgment. 

When a potential client just doesn’t “click” with you, let them go.  Better opportunities will be out there.  I recently had a client become upset with me because I was “fluttering around all stressed out” while I was setting up the room for her.  She was almost 20 minutes early for her appointment and apparently I don’t set up the room in a zen enough manner.  She interpreted the “please have a seat while I use the time before your appointment to get everything ready” as negative stress.  Not only that, she thought my “stress” would rub off on her.  Yes, I was getting things done, but I wasn’t stressed.  (At least up until the point where she was accusing me of being stressed out and ruining her day.) Perception is interesting.  She ended up leaving before her appointment started.  I wished her well. This is not my ideal client. 

What ended up happening is that I was available for client that happened to walk by and needed a massage.  I made a great connection with a new client that has already booked another appointment.  She was great and I was able to help her with her needs! It was an amazing opportunity.

Think about the favorite massage you love to perform.  Think about the client that energizes you.  Focus your intention on that massage and those clients.  That will build a business and clientele that feeds your soul and enriches your life.  



#9 of 31 in the August blogging challenge.  I'm trying my best to hang in there!  

25 Bits about Rianne:

1.     I am a frequent, serial sneezer.

2.     My hair is naturally curly and it makes me giggle when people think I paid for this ‘do.

3.     Spent my adolescence as a military brat. 

4.     I lived in over 20 homes by the time I graduated high school.

5.     I was a total band geek in high school.

6.     I have 10 nephews.  Yes… ALL boys and not a single girl.

7.     I call my car “TK”, short for “The Kia”

8.     I love peanut butter and mustard sandwiches, but I rarely eat sandwiches.

9.     I prefer salty over sweet any day. 

10.   I don’t like ketchup.  There is nothing that is appealing to me about ketchup, the smell, texture, or taste.

11.   I listen to all genres of music. 

12.   I prefer dogs to cats, but own a cat.

13.   I believe tacos should be served in corn tortillas.

14.   I enjoy thrift store shopping.

15.   The Big Bang Theory makes me laugh out loud.

16.   I won’t buy Rainier cherries that were grown in California.  It’s the principle.

17.   I am growing rhubarb in Florida when people told me it couldn’t be done.

18.   Running makes me loathe myself.

19.   I have checked The Possum Festival off of my Florida Panhandle things to do list.

20.   I have learned that taking continuing education classes at a convention is not for me. 

21.   I drove across the country from Everett, Washington to Panama City, Florida with my cat.

22.   Peonies are my favorite flower.

23.   In a laugh or cry situation, I’m usually laughing which makes for some awkward moments.

24.   I am passionate about things that I think are important and I’m not afraid to speak up for what I think is right.

25.   I like things to be organized, preferably in some sort of container or pouch.  Everything should have a place. 


#7 of 31 in the August blogging challenge.  If the numbers don't add up, I am posting on another blog too!  I'm behind but hanging in there. 

Massage therapists are an amazing group of individuals.  We choose a profession that is innately selfless.  We help people to help themselves with pain, recovery, stress, anxiety, and just finding some peace. 

Yet, there are times when we are absolutely ugly, defensive, and nasty.  When I witness those instances, it’s usually directed at each other.  Why do we forget we are colleagues?   The city is not divided and owned like NFL franchises.  There is no game night where the winner takes all.  We don’t have a Super Bowl to prove who is best.  Last I checked there was no score board.   Heck, there isn’t a hot dog or giant pretzel involved.  So why do we treat this like a competition? 

If we spend our time holding everyone else down, how will we ever find greatness? 

Don’t buy groupon-like vouchers from other massage therapists, especially if you have ran a deal in your own business.  You know how they work.  You know that the massage therapist is taking a severe cut hoping for new clients.  If you aren’t willing to pay full price for a massage, I would expect your pricing schedule to reflect what you feel massage is worth.  If you want a massage, give me a call, I’m sure we can work something out.  I even offer a discount to other therapists. Yes, I know there are tons of arguments for and against these programs… Not my point here. 

Don’t pretend to be someone other than who you are when you get a massage.  The profession isn’t so large that people don’t usually know who you are.  In the spirit of not saying who you are; don’t schedule a massage and then pump me for information about my business.  Your massage is not the time for that.  Let’s do lunch. I’d be more than happy to answer your questions.

Don’t steal information off of another therapist’s website.  If they have information that ROCKS send them an email, I bet most of the time they won’t mind sharing. 

Do let another therapist know when you see something really awesome about them! I recently saw an awesome ad on TV for someone.  I let them know how cool it was.

Do call up a therapist and go to lunch.  I bet you have a lot in common.  No one else knows your woes like a fellow therapist!  Compare some products you love.  Talk about some classes you took and what you liked or hated about them.

If a therapist is new to the area, and they reach out to you, respond to them.  When I moved here over 6 years ago, I sent out emails to about seven different therapists I found on the AMTA therapist finder.  I wanted to go to lunch and get some insight into the area.  NOT ONE PERSON REPLIED.  At.  All.  It was really sad. All I was looking for was lunch, a colleague, and maybe some information on great places to work, etc.  The therapists didn’t even have the courtesy to say “I’m sorry, I’m so swamped, thanks for looking me up though.” 

Ask for some feedback on your website or Facebook page.  When everyone has outstanding images representing them, it helps our industry as a whole.  We should be fighting the poor image of our profession, not each other!

If you are passionate about your specialties, your ideal client will find you.  That person probably isn’t my ideal client.  I’m not going to play tug of war with you over them.  I have plenty of other people that think I absolutely rock.  I’m not concerned about the people you give a massage too or how to steal them. 

We have the amazing ability to help each other become awesome.  Do each other a favor and be respectful.  Let’s work on being colleagues.  Partners in crime.  Forces to be reckoned with.  Lunch buddies. 

If you are ever in the area, give me a call! 

#4 of 31ish in the August blogging challenge.

Some people don’t understand my motivation or intention of why I wrote Fired Up and Problems and Solutions, Maybe.  I’ve been accused of being mean, negative, and trying to hurt people’s feelings.     Unfortunately, they missed the point.  (I was also accused of using people’s names to call them out personally, which is just wrong. If you can show me how I did that I will apologize, but I can’t find an example.)  For anyone that is confused, I’ll explain it.

Gossip.  When someone from our local area walked up on my original conversation at the convention with the state level representatives, I knew what I said would be talked about.  I wanted my feelings and word choices to come from me.  I didn’t want them to be twisted and manipulated into something they were not.  I created some buzz, people are still talking about me, but at least the conversation has to do with what I actually said.  Not what another person says I said…

Owning my own behavior.  This also plays into the gossip reason.  I’m big on personal accountability.  I won’t try to deny my actions.  Hell, I’m usually the first person to admit what I did.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  This was what I said and why.    

Connecting.  I wanted to find other voices.  I didn’t think I was the only person where I live that feels this way.  It’s rough being a massage therapist.  We give so much of ourselves to our clients and having a sense of “I belong” is helpful.  I did find other voices.   

Creating a conversation.  I don’t need people to feel the exact same way I do.  I don’t even need to be friends with every therapist in the area.  I do think there is a need for a PRODUCTIVE conversation to occur.  I also think for it to be productive, ego and personal feelings need to be set aside. 

Stimulating growth.  After finding other voices, maybe together we can raise the bar and become something to be proud of.  I’m tired of inviting a therapist to a meeting and being met with some version of “No thank you.  I’ve never heard anything good about that…”  It’s frustrating that so many therapists are being turned off and don’t give it a chance.   

Stimulate involvement.  Finding therapists that are not involved, help them find their voice, and get involved.  "Involved" of course may mean different things to different people, and that's OK too.  

I don’t want to be part of the problem.  I see the bigger picture and want to be part of a solution.  There is a lack of involvement.  Apathy is rampant in our area.  Mostly, because I think therapists feel isolated.  There hasn’t been an opportunity to feel heard.  The positive ways to be involved have not been highlighted. 

It was NOT a personal attack on anyone.  It was not a judgment of education or experience.  It was not an attempt to be dismissive of those that have stepped up to be involved.  It was intended to voice my feelings.  Dissenting opinions are not by definition negative or even “right”.  It’s simply a different point of view.  The fact that even one person said “thank you” says a lot though.  Being dismissive of comments on the blog because there was “only 5”… well that just proves my point of this “us versus them” mentality.  For the record, I think that SUCKS!  Everyone should be heard even if it’s just one person.

I see potential.  There is an opportunity for positive growth, locally and at the state level.   I feel there is a difference between being negative and constructive.  Someone that is being negative doesn’t offer help or support.  Negativity would only bash on problems and offer no solutions.   They wouldn’t reach out several times in an attempt to find out positive things that are happening with the massage community in the area.  They wouldn’t offer to go to lunch.  They wouldn’t send an email about moving forward in a positive and productive manner.  

Yesterday, I discussed some of the things that embarrass me about our local chapter.  Today, I wanted to dive into those a little more and offer some thoughts on solutions or how things can change.  

Email communication. 

While there is appreciation in the effort to communicate with the local chapter via email, the boat is being missed.  An email the day of the meeting is too late for most people.  It’s a great reminder of the meeting, but most people would like to mark their calendars at least a week beforehand.  Yes, I know that the meeting is ALWAYS the second Wednesday of the month.  Guess what, not everyone does.  Or they forget.  Remind them. 

Use an email program. 

Mailchimp, for example, is FREE.  It’s easy to use.  It includes the spam disclaimer.  There is even a way for people to sign-up for newsletters that can be included on a website and Facebook.  Emails can be scheduled in advance.  It’s a pretty awesome tool. 

In the very least, proofread the communication.  Use spellcheck.  Use the BCC feature so everyone’s email address isn’t broadcasted.  That’s just great email etiquette.  I realize we are only human.  I’m not talking about the occasional typo. 

Use Facebook with intention and interact with chapter members. 

Cute photos of bunnies and squirrels are for friends, not a professional organization.  Share interesting blog articles.  There are a ton of them out there anywhere from business information, modalities, or some just sharing the humorous side of our profession.  Don’t just share the information posted on the state’s FSMTA Facebook page.  Chances are I’m a fan of that page too. 

Get a website. 

There are free and easy versions to use.  Personally, I love Weebly.  Other people I know prefer Wordpress.  Post information about the upcoming classes.  Have information on who is on the board.  Explain the duties of their position.  Give us a way to contact you.  Start a blog, they are pretty handy.  You could even ask for members of the chapter to guest write a post.  The possibilities are limited only by your inaction. 

Stop making excuses. 

Several months ago, I mentioned a website and email and being more interactive.  I was barraged with a list of excuses.  The State level hasn’t given us an accurate email list.  We don’t even know who our members are.  The State charged us for a Facebook page I’m not sure what they would charge for a website.  People don’t know when the meetings are.  We live in Lower Alabama… The list goes on. 

Guess what?  Our organization is only as strong as our leadership.  As a leader you have a low opinion of our chapter and make excuses, how will you ever strive for excellence?  There are some valid concerns, but do something to create a change.  Don’t just sit around and bitch about nobody doing anything.  For the most part people aren’t involved because they don’t know about it and they feel like there is an “us versus them” mentality.  A pretty interesting conversation is starting on another post, check it out. 

You have the power to changed that but it involves letting go of some ego, accepting things are changing, and adapting.  If you need help, ask.  Not once have I seen an email or Facebook post asking for any help.  The Gulf Coast is craving change and connection.  

I’m embarrassed by my local professional organization chapter.  I’m so embarrassed, that while at the One Concept American Massage Conference in Atlanta, I expressed my feelings to the State President of the organization.

Our local chapter does not have a website.  Our chapter leadership does not interact well on Facebook.   I don’t believe there is a Twitter account.  Emails are sent with poor grammar and sentence structure. 

I’m embarrassed that a local member goes to State level meetings and gives the excuse that “I’m from lower Alabama…” for our lack of professionalism and involvement.  I think that mindset is bullshit.  (I expressed that feeling as well.) 

The answer I was given?  You should volunteer…

Which lead to the question:  WHY WOULD I WANT TO VOLUNTEER AND ALIGN MYSELF WITH SOMETHING THAT EMBARRASSES ME?

I know people that have tried to become active and they feel like their efforts were under-minded.  There is even a rumor that applications to run for a board position were “lost” somehow and they became ineligible to run.  WHY DOES THIS RUMOR EXIST?

There is a need to be progressive and keep up with the way our society and our profession is changing.  If we don’t adapt, we will become obsolete.  Period. 

I expect more from our professional organizations than cheap insurance and free continuing education.   I expect an organization that brings the bar up and help massage therapists become excellent.  I expect awesome.  I’m sorry, but cute kitten photos on Facebook and ill-written emails do not cut it.

I want an organization that I would be proud to tell other colleagues to join. 

What expectations do you have of your professional organization?  What can we do to make changes that matter? 

Today I feel like it’s prom and I don’t have a date.  I’m sitting at home and something amazing is happening elsewhere!  Do you know about it?  The 2013 International Massage Therapy Research Conference kicked off in Boston today.  I could not go this year.  The knowledge seeking geek in me is in a tizzy.  You can follow the conference on Twitter #IMTRC.   I’ll be doing it.

Here are the 2 main reasons I’m bummed because I’m at home:

The Information. 

Massage is evolving.  To stay on top of our field, we need to be stay in the know about the research!  Think there aren't massage myths still floating around?  Check some of them out here.  I was taught some of these myths and I’m sure you were as well. 

The ROCK STARS are there. 

Those massage therapists that are the shakers and the movers of our industry.  The type of therapists that push the boundaries and standards of massage to higher levels.   What an amazing environment to learn in.  It is an environment that provides us with tools to educate ourselves, our clients, and our communities. 

If you didn’t know about the conference, check it out.  Are you willing to make a commitment in going with me next year?